Bark Home the Bacon

Dear Dog Lady,

A best friend has a very misbehaved dog, Cajun. The giant Lab jumps on us when we arrive and always has his head in our laps at the dinner table looking for scraps. It doesn't help that my friend feeds him our leftovers by letting the dog lick off the dinner plates. Is there anything to be done by the guests to deal with the dog? Or can we suggest something to our friend?

Laura, Billerica, MA.

Laura, there’s a plethora of band-aid solutions, but none of them is particularly pleasant. You could confront your friend about ragin’ Cajun’s behavior. You could make a fuss when you visit. You could turn down all invitations. You could whine about and criticize the dog when visiting. Do any of these solutions work for you? Probably not. If you care about your friend, you will grin and bear it. Your friend needs to realize on her own that the dog’s manners need fixing.

Dog Lady recently visited dear chums for breakfast -- a tasty spread of bacon and eggs. Throughout the meal, the family’s dog, Stumpy (name changed to protect the guilty), barked constantly and circled the table. My friends never attempted to calm the dog, or put him away in another room. They essentially rewarded Stumpy’s bad behavior by flinging bacon bits at their misbehaved darling whose yapping ceased only when pork rained from heaven. My friends kept talking to me while they mindlessly threw shreds of meat over their shoulders. Such reinforcement will continue to encourage Stumpy to bark home the bacon. Dog Lady could do nothing except eat up while silently refusing to join the tossing game.

Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. But they have little control over other friends’ misbehaving dogs, children or partners. There’s nothing you can do about the annoying Lab except to endure any visit with a plastered smile -- and clothes that stand up to Cajun’s dirty paws. Oh sure, you might mention something if you and your friend ever have a quiet moment away from the dog, but all counsel should be light-hearted, not dictatorial. You might also suggest everybody going out to a restaurant the next time your best friend invites you to dinner.

Posted by Dog Lady at May 13, 2005 10:39 AM