Catty Dog Walk

Dear Dog Lady,

This woman walks her dog in my neighborhood and she constantly makes comments about my own dog’s lack of clothing. Her comments, disguised as observations on the weather, always revolve around the fact that my dog would be happier, drier, or warmer in a coat. How does she know? She dresses her Bichon in Burberry. Meanwhile, my dog went ballistic the first time I tried to put a sweater on him. He tried to bite, claw and attack the garment as if the woolie was an alien creature. I’ve attempted to explain this to her. Still, she persists in second-guessing my wardrobe choices for Chester, my schnoodle.

Gretchen, Beverly Hills, CA

Gretchen, quit your kvetchin'. Wake up and smell the snobbery. The woman with the Bichon wants you to notice the Burberry, and she’s obviously succeeded. You can silence her with a significant smile and quip, “My dog’s a fashion hound in his own fur coat” or something similarly light-hearted. You want to send her the message to stop meddling without making a big hairy deal of the whole thing. Or, you could jokingly ask her: “Since when did a dog walk become a catwalk?”

This notion amuses Dog Lady because our pampered pets are determined anti-fashionistas. People persist in trying to dress them up in chic clothing but most dogs would rather be nudists and Buddhists no matter what the temperature or climatic conditions. To them, it’s all about the naked journey – a Zen thing. Garments bought and put on by humans make them feel stifled and strange, although some dogs seem perfectly amenable to duds, such as the Bichon in the Burberry.

Dogs avoid wearing clothes because there’s nothing in it for them. Their status symbols are sniffs in butts and private parts, high pee marks, and alpha signals. Sure, they covet goods other dogs possess – sticks, tennis balls – but they don’t have wardrobe envy. You gotta love your schnoodle for not caring an oodle about competing with the neighbor dog in Burberry.

Posted by Dog Lady at February 9, 2008 10:05 AM