Grieving A Yorkie

Dear Dog Lady.

We recently lost Dandy, our beloved 10-year-old Yorkie, to complications from surgery trying to remove an intestinal cancerous tumor. We are coping and reading lots of articles online about pet grief and the question always comes up of when/if we should get another pet and should we get the same breed. There is a lot of advice out there but none I trust more than yours. Any tips?

Andrea, Cincinnati, OH

Andrea, deepest sympathies on the loss of Dandy. People wiser than Dog Lady have said the hardest part of keeping a pet is letting go of a pet because the pet will probably die first. The actuarial tables for animals and humans are very unforgiving in this regard.

Another sad part of losing a pet is the immediate reaction: “Are you going to get another?” is the most frequently asked question. This assumes dogs are replaceable – like automobiles or other significant inanimate objects. Certainly, you can always get another dog, but that creature will never be the one you lost. Each dog is unique, with its own personality and characteristics. You may get another Yorkie, but it won’t be Dandy.

Dog Lady knows of a man whose Scottie died suddenly. The man’s girlfriend, believing she was providing comfort, presented the man with a surprise Scottie puppy she bought at a pet store. The man was horrified by what he perceived as the girlfriend’s insensitivity. They broke up soon after. The man kept the dog because he felt he had no other choice and, eventually, the two formed a lasting bond. So the story ends happily, but not without deep angst along the way.

Only you can decide how long to wait before letting another dog into your life. The same is true about the breed. You’re used to Yorkies. Another Yorkie might be the dog for you, but Dog Lady can’t officially advise this course of action. It’s all very personal. You will know when it is time and what to do. Nonetheless, I can say that once you have a dog in your life, it’s very hard to live without one ever again, but you must allow proper time to grieve Dandy.

You say you have discovered many sites on the Web dealing with pet grief.
In fact, the Web community can be the greatest support when a beloved companion animal dies. Dog Lady directs you to http://www.petloss.com, which is a comprehensive site dealing with late and lamented darlings

Posted by Dog Lady at October 20, 2004 04:13 PM