Doggy Dollars and Sense

Dear Dog Lady,

My husband and I are dog people. We have two sweeties: mixed breeds who were abandoned and abused before coming to our home. Because they were abandoned, we don't leave them in kennels - they usually travel with us. We both work, so to stave off canine boredom and prevent accidents in our house, we use a combination of premium doggie day care and a very reliable dog walker.

We feel good about how we treat our canine companions, but our family is critical of the cost of this care, and what they view as our unhealthy obsession with Angel and Zoë. And they are vocal about it. For example, my 12-year old nephew sat my husband down last month and lectured him. "They are 'only dogs,' " he said. "You spend too much money on them."

Clearly, he was echoing thoughts from my sister and/or brother-in-law. I know this shouldn't bother me, but I feel it's out of line. After all, the way we choose to spend our money reflects our values, and we are, as I said, dog people.

Dog Lady, do you have a clever way to silence the family on this subject of doggie overindulgence? Or do we just need to ignore their unwelcome commentary?

(By the way, we are generous with our extended family -- not just our dogs.)

Gail, New Jersey

Gail, what a whale of a money tale -- and all too true. Dog Lady experienced the same disapproval at the beginning of my dog journey. Friends and family members clucked that I was lavishing far too many resources on my canine. Their dumb remarks fell on deaf ears. I wanted to spend freely on my puppy, which turned out to be the best investment I ever made. I am blessed today with a wonderful dog who is worth every cent of my capital outlay in time, money, heart and soul. The critics have been silenced by my happiness. They realize my dog has made me rich.

There are two strategies you can take in dealing with your ridiculing relatives -- the humorous and the sublime. The next time a family member broaches the subject of your generous outlay for the care of Angel and Zoe, you can lower your voice to a frantic whisper: “Yes, you’re right. Please help. These critters are robbing us blind. Call the police immediately.” Or, make a crack about how you’re re-writing your will and leaving it all to the dogs.

If you don’t want to engage in foolishness, take the forgiving approach and simply ignore the naysayers. Don’t stoop to address their concerns because, let’s face it, money is very personal and how you spend yours is nobody’s business. Nobody criticizes Aunt Mildred for squandering her nest egg bidding for Hummels on eBay. Don’t defend the indefensible. Dismiss any rude queries about your dog indulgences with a chuckle and a shrug: “Aw, we love Angel and Zoe. They give back far more to us than we give to them.”

Your dogs, of course, are unmindful of this fiscal fuss. They won life’s lottery when you adopted them and brought them home

Posted by Dog Lady at September 29, 2003 03:34 PM