The Long Goodbye

Dear Dog Lady,
Spike is my terrific 6-year-old fox terrier. He loves when human company comes to call. But he hates when human company leaves. He barks, yowls and whines when they try to get out the door. He has done this since he was 2 months old. We have tried distracting him with toys or treats, but to no avail. All other times, he is very well behaved. He does not do this when either my husband or I leave. Can you help us, Dog Lady?

Gail, Russellville, Ark

Gail, what a tale. Dog Lady imagines Spike, perched on the bar at closin’ time. He stares into the shadows of his water bowl and asks the barkeep to toss over another Beggin’ Strip. Cue Sinatra and his melancholy ballad, “One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)”: “It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place except you and me/So, set 'em up, Joe, I got a little story you oughta know/We're drinkin', my friend, to the end of a brief episode/Make it one for my baby and one more for the road.’’

It’s hard to know when and how to say goodbye. Spike has found his own swansong. He's a dog that doesn't want the party to end. Dog Lady identifies.

Perhaps you and Spike can resettle in Vegas where the nightlife never leaves the building. Better yet, move Spike into another room when human company starts to depart.

Advise your guests not to engage in excessively loud farewell rituals when Spike is around. All that air-kissing and promising to keep in touch must be too much for him. Instead, after you’ve quietly put Spike away with a biscuit (preferably in his crate), walk the company to the door and say goodbye to your visitors out of earshot of your dog.

If you really want to train your dog to behave differently, you must be determined. Be firm with Spike. If you can’t bear to isolate him, then put on his leash and order him to lie down or sit quietly while company departs. Be firm about holding him in position. Only reward him with a treat if he stays down and quiet. Be consistent.

Are you sure you don’t secretly enjoy your dog’s quirky “don't leave me like this” behavior? Your guests must get a real charge out of the foxy terrier sending them off like a clingy lover. Years later, nobody will recall what they ate around your table, but they’ll always think of Spike. “Remember dinner at Gail’s house when her dog yowled as we tried to get out the door?” Your party animal provides the long goodbye of poignant memories.

“You'd never know it but buddy, I'm a kind of poet/And I got a lot of things to say/And when I'm gloomy, you simply gotta listen to me/Till it's all talked away.” (Dog Lady thanks Frank Sinatra, composer Harold Arlen, and lyricist Johnny Mercer for the memories too).

Posted by Dog Lady at June 4, 2003 08:18 PM