Fabric Softener

Dear Dog Lady,

I live in a condominium and residents share a common laundry area. In the basement, we have three coin operated washers and dryers. Not as convenient as having a washer and dryer right in my condo, but handy all the same.

One day, I brought my laundry downstairs and ran into Jen from the third floor. She’s someone I thought I’d like to know better, mainly because she’s so pretty. She was taking her wash out of the machine and putting it into the dryer. I was also pleased about the freed-up machine -- until I saw Jen transfer Elvis’ soggy Polarfleece dog bed from the washer to the dryer.

Yuck. Naturally, I didn’t make a fuss. But I turned the water temperature up as high as it would go and threw in an extra dollop of detergent. I hoped the hot suds would kill all dog germs and smells. Later, I had the distinct displeasure of having my laundry follow Elvis’ bed into the dryer. (It was the only one not in use). My clothes came out dry but covered with little dog hairs.

Needless to say, my attraction for Jen has left the building. Should I also suggest to her that she take Elvis’ fleece bed out of the building to a public laundromat?

-Zack, Boston, MA.

Zack, you ain’t nothin but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time -- with good reason.

Actually, your letter reminded me of "The Good Mother," the provocative novel by Sue Miller. Miller’s story explores the drastic consequences that ensue when a divorced mother, blinded by love and lust for a new boyfriend, blurs the boundaries of sanity, propriety and common sense.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “Hey, Dog Lady, keep it light. I write you a question about laundry and you’re recommending a novel with deep layers of love and lust.” Ah, but there is a correlation. Miller’s absorbing cautionary tale has bigger messages about the poor choices we make when we’re consumed by passion.

Your neighbor obviously has a passion for her pet. She’s typical of many dog owners who forget about the lines of decency between their animals and other people. These same owners might think it’s amusing when their dog jumps up on a houseguest. Some visitors will be charmed. Others will wince and quietly wonder what solvent cleanses dog drool.

Jen assumes it’s OK to wash and dry Elvis’ hairy nest in the common laundry, without considering the consequences. This is the great sloppiness of some dog keepers. Not everybody loves their dogs as much as they do. Jen may run her undies through the spin cycle with Elvis’ Polarfleece, but that’s her choice. She shouldn’t foist it upon anyone else who uses the washers and dryers -- either in your building or at a Laundromat down the street.

If she had her polite priorities in order, Jen would wash Elvis’ dog bed in her own bathtub or kitchen sink and not in the communal conveniences.

You could say something to Jen. But even Dog Lady, who can be less than ladylike on occasion, concedes such a confrontation would take uncommon bravery.

Better yet, seek out the manager of the building or a trustee on the condominium’s board. Explain the situation. Suggest that laundry rules be posted in the common area. Included in those dictates could be a list of inappropriate things for laundering such as chemical or oil soaked articles as well as animal-soiled “items.” Ask, of course, to remain anonymous. Surely, the building’s managers will see the sense in your suggestions and Jen might get the point.

Zack, maybe it's time to grow up and get your own washer and dryer for your condo. The appliances will be worth the investment because you will become master of your own laundry, with complete control over everything that comes between you and your Calvins.

Posted by Dog Lady at August 23, 2006 12:32 PM