Marriage Therapy Dog

Dear Dog Lady,

During a recent weekend visit with my former college roommate, she and I stayed up much too late quaffing cheap Chianti and hashing over her troubled marriage. She described how her husband had been keeping to himself, watching too much TV, forsaking his regular exercise routine and stuffing himself with junk food. A funk has settled on their empty-nest household. My friend seemed at wits end. I told her to get a dog because the dog would definitely provide companionship for her and boost his spirits as well.

The next morning, I found her poring over the pet page in the newspaper. She told me she was cheered by the idea of a canine addition to the household. She planned to surprise her husband, she said, because the idea of discussing it beforehand was too daunting. As I packed up to leave, she was calling the local shelter.

Did I overstep my bounds? After all, I put the therapy dog idea in her head. I had no clue she’d jump on it like a puppy with a rope bone.

- Fiona in Lake Bluff, Illinois

Fiona, you are a good friend. Dogs do wonders for the human body and spirit. They take our minds off ourselves. Despite your Chianti haze when you made the suggestion, you were clearly thinking on your feet.

Dog Lady knows of a similar situation -- a wife who brought home a Jack Russell terrier after her husband finished chemotherapy treatments and was in a gulch of despair.

Initially, the husband was annoyed by the pet ambush. He ignored the dog -- or pretended to. He kept threatening to give the dog away. The dog stayed because the wife and kids did all the work and kept the dog from getting under the husband's feet.

That was four years ago.

Today, the husband adores his Jack Russell and vice-versa. Man and dog walk six miles daily -- a morning outing that keeps them both happy. He has rebounded from cancer and from his depression. Wife can only smile, even if she sometimes feels like a third wheel.

Certainly, this canine prescription is very dicey. Dog Lady discourages giving dogs as surprise gifts because the innocent dog is utterly at the mercy of the recipient. Dogs are not commodities that can be thrown around like stuffed animals. Sadly, there are many abandoned dogs who were once given as gifts.

However, in a domestic situation -- such as partner-to-partner, or parent-to-child -- when the person getting the dog has fully resolved to do all the home work necessary to feed, walk and nurture the dog, then, by all means, go for it. In her bones, Dog Lady knows one thing -- when there's a dog in the house, warmth never leaves the building.

Posted by Dog Lady at February 19, 2003 12:00 PM