Poop Problems

Dear Dog Lady,

Once again, dog poop is back in the news. I read the front page story (“They say the place is going to the dogs”) in the Boston Globe and got really spooked about the great divide between animal lovers and people angry at the irresponsible dog owners who don’t pick up after their pets.

Can you ever imagine the city of Boston banning dogs because of the poop problem? Why can’t everybody just get along?

Christopher, Boston, MA

Christopher, if Boston ever banned dogs, the city fathers – and mothers – would have to prepare for a 21st Century French (Poodle) Revolution. Dog Lady can’t imagine the uproar.

Still, the poop problem is disgusting. Every time somebody steps in a pile, it takes away from the good will of the dogless toward the dogged. If you see a pack of irresponsible dog owners ruining the neighborhood by not cleaning up after their animals, you would be hard-pressed not to crusade to evict the dirt devils from your street and local park.

The City needs more enforcement and steeper punishment. Heck, if Dog Lady was an animal cop, she would levy a $500.fine against any offender caught walking away from a mutt mountain. And she would deputize members of neighborhood dog groups to act as a local pooch posse to police the dog population. Small monetary grants would enable these activists to buy and distribute biodegradable clean up bags. Also, trash cans in dog dense neighborhoods would be clearly marked as animal waste receptacles.

By the way, Dog Lady, who abides by journalistic standards, does not endorse products. In this extreme case, however, I shamelessly flack biodegradable clean up bags. Why leave your dog’s dung sitting in a plastic baggie on top of a landfill for all eternity? Earth-friendly bags are available online at www.oopsipooped.net.

As the dog population grows, the problem is only going to get worse as the animosity continues to flare between people who step in it and people who sidestep their duty to clean it. Allowing anybody to smoosh in your dog’s waste is hideous – even for the rich and famous.

Rod Stewart, the geriatric rocker, told an interviewer recently about a family crisis caused by his 26-year-old daughter’s dog defecating in his mansion. “I cannot stand when there’s poo and pee on the carpet. It drives me mad,” Stewart said. Perhaps if Stewart had better trained daughter Kimberly to be a conscientious member of society, he wouldn’t have the problem, but you get the idea. Dog doo left anywhere stinks.

Posted by Dog Lady at December 4, 2005 02:08 PM