Is Paris Burning?

Dear Dog Lady,

Paris Hilton recently lost her dog, Tinkerbell, the Chihuahua that Hilton drags around under her arm and dresses in pink Chanel frocks and teeny Gucci sneakers on the Fox show “The Simple Life.” What happened to Tinkerbell? Has the dog been found? I hear there was a big reward. You preach about “responsible” dog ownership. What do you say about Ms. Hilton’s failure to watch out for her pet?

Peter, Fresno, CA

Peter, is it Pan? Actually, even if you don’t have a Peter Pan complex, your fascination with Tinkerbell is understandable. Dog Lady herself breathed a mighty sigh of relief when CNN and the Fox News Channel reported with much fanfare that little Tinkerbell had been found after a week on the lam. Hilton provided no explanation about what happened to Tinkerbell, although it’s been reported that sister Nicky left a door to their L.A. manse ajar and Tinkerbell wandered off. Hilton offered a $5000 reward for the return of Tinkerbell. But there is no confirmation the wild and crazy hotel heiress – and amateur video porno star -- actually paid the money for the return of her dog.

Ah, Peter, if Dog Lady ruled the world then all dog keepers would be careful and thoughtful when dealing with their pets. I think you can surmise how Dog Lady reacts to Paris Hilton’s bumbling ability to tend Tinkerbell. For her, the dog is a living Barbie doll to tote in a handbag and dress in silly clothes.

Wouldn’t you know? The brouhaha over Tinkerbell’s disappearance conveniently coincided with the release of Hilton’s new book, “The Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries: My Life Tailing Paris Hilton” (Warner Books, $9.95). Here’s a snippet from the dog’s perspective: "I'm in a pink angora sweater. Here I thought I was a pet, right, a companion, not a hood ornament."

We can only wince about the plight of Tinkerbell, the poor little rich dog, and hope the innocent creature survives without getting lost again in the chaotic muddle that is Paris.

Posted by Dog Lady at September 22, 2004 08:11 PM