Pet Gossip

Dear Dog Lady,

I heard that a wily coyote made dinner of Kathie Lee Gifford’s dog, Chardonnay. I felt heartbroken because many mornings, I would sit in front of the TV and hear Kathie Lee kvell about “Chardy” on “Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.” Since Kathie Lee doesn’t have her morning soapbox anymore to spew her pathos, I went to her website (www.kathieleegifford.com) and read the tragic details of how Chardy died. Kathie Lee praises the fluffy Bichon Frisee as a “brave little furball” who was guarding the Gifford Connecticut estate when the coyote pounced. In true “Kathie Me” fashion, Kathie Lee seems to believe her dog laid down its life to save the Gifford family.

Dog Lady, I’m fascinated by celebrities’ dogs. Some people read the tabloids for all the gossip about the stars’ stupid tricks, but I’m one of those oddballs who likes to know the dirt about the stars’ stupid pet tricks. I admit that, in our celebrity-obsessed pop culture, mine is a curious fixation, but I am hoping you share my need to know. Got any poop?

Marilyn, East Hampton, N.Y.

Marilyn, my, my, my -- you are the unapologetic gossip hound. Indeed, you’ve come to the right place. Dog Lady shares your celeb pet passion.

Dog Lady has just finished reading “The Gift Of Jazzy” (St. Martins Press $19.95) by Cindy Adams, the New York Post gossip columnist. I can’t believe anyone would pay money for this book. But Dog Lady threw away twenty bucks to get a good, hearty helping of kitschy kibble. Ms. Adams, who writes in staccato style with incomplete sentences, does toss out a few meaty tidbits.

Seems when Adams was in the dumps following the death of her comedian husband, Joey, caring pals in Los Angeles sent a chauffeur to Connecticut to pick up a puppy and bring the furball to Adams at her palatial digs on Park Avenue. (Dog Lady does not endorse giving dogs as condolence gifts.) The Yorkshire terrier puppy, Jazzy, has become the light of her life.

Adams admits she hasn’t adequately trained nor disciplined 5-pound Jazzy. And, if it’s true that we get the dogs we deserve, then Cindy and Jazzy were made for each other. Since Jazzy is not the perfectly behaved gentleman, the book is filled with tales of Jazzy’s indiscriminate bathroom, food, and chewing habits.

In one passage, Adams writes of the domestic chaos that occurred when she was out at a posh party, hosted by Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair magazine. While mistress was gone, master mutt was mighty miffed at momma for abandoning him, according to Adams, and Jazzy went on a crime spree. Here’s the scene Adams found when she returned:

“You Know Who was not talking to me. He’d trashed everything. Flowerpots knocked over, newspapers shredded, Kleenex out of the box, pedestal under the table gnawed, ribbons on my baskets pulled, my bra and stockings were on the floor, papers I was working on were chewed, a ballpoint pen was destroyed, he’d eaten through a phone jack socket, which had been under a protective strip so he couldn’t get to the wires. Scotch tape was entwined in his fur. I had two pillows from Afghanistan embroidered with little mirrors on them. No more little mirrors. The Louis Vuitton case for my contact lenses was upturned and he was playing a silverfish bug.”

Adams goes on to describe how Jazzy chewed through garbage bags and tossed chicken bones all over the floor. “And the perp himself? Sitting on his haunches staring at me with an ‘I didn’t do anything’ expression on his face.”

Adams turns Jazzy’s bad behavior into “material.” She shrugs at the indiscretions and credits the dog with saving her spirit during a bleak time in her life. Dogs are famous for that.

Jazzy, who showed up for a recent interview with the New York Times wearing a sable overcoat by a top designer (only in New York, kids, only in New York) has become quite the little man about town. Cindy doesn’t leave her pet home alone much anymore. Then again, even she can’t afford the inevitable destruction.

This week, Jazzy will preside at a star-studded party to open a new boutique, Jazzy’s of Park Avenue, at the Macy’s in Manhattan. Adams bragged to the Times:“The best dogs are coming. Bryant Gumbel’s Maltese, Cujo, Barbara Walters’ Cha-Cha, Henry Kissinger’s dog.”

Dog Lady’s invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Anyway, Dog Lady and her darling A-list dog like to avoid the puparazzi.

Posted by Dog Lady at March 2, 2003 12:00 PM