The Six-Year Itch
Dear Dog Lady,
I feel like I'm trapped in an old marriage with my dog. I'm bored.
Things used to be exciting when Ollie, a Cairn terrier, was a puppy. The world was new for both of us. I had never owned a dog before. There was a world of discovery out there for both of us. We loved our walks, our games, our times. Those were the good old days. After six years, we seem to have settled into a dull routine.
On our walks, I grow impatient and yank his leash when he pokes along. I am weary of, his unwavering obsessions with squirrels and squeaky toys. He mentally tires me out with all his bristling terrier intensity and obstinacy.
In bed, I like to read a magazine or watch TV and ignore him. But Ollie nudges my hand with his nose until I give him a lackluster belly rub. Before I roll over and go to sleep, I ease him off my bed and onto his own bed, which sits on the floor next to mine. I used to let him stay on my bed all night.
Please, Dog Lady, don't think me heartless. Ollie is a great dog. I can never imagine giving him up. I figure we're stuck together for the duration. But how can I revive the relationship?
Felicia, San Francisco, Calif.
Felicia, you have a case of ennui unleash-a.
Actually, I'm glad you were honest about all this. Having any living creature constantly in your face and sharing your space can be taxing at times. Such is the nature of the commitment beast. Many of us hide our boredom with our dogs, our kids, our jobs, our spouses. You give voice to those who only think these things but don't say them.
The glory of dogs is that they never tire of the same-old-same-old. Be mindful that Ollie is experiencing no similar lassitude. He doesn't notice anything is different, except as he may pick up vibes of your impatience and indifference. Even then, your dog forgives you. Ollie is not the one who bears any responsibility to jazz up the relationship.
Felicia, the burden is entirely upon you to feel better about yourself. Boredom is usually a symptom of something else. Dog Lady advises you to embark on an exercise program, read a sizzling book, have a petting affair with a puppy. In other words, take a vacation from your dog. It sounds like you need a break from Ollie. It's perfectly OK to separate from him for a short spell, as long as you make arrangements for his care.
Whenever Dog Lady comes back from time spent away from my dog, he greets me as if I were the Goddess of Dog Ladies. This makes me feel renewed. I realize how much I've missed him, how happy I am to see him, how lost I'd be without him. We quickly settle back into the monotony, but, somehow, I am more grateful for the routine. I appreciate my precious pet all over again.
It's important to remember your dog will stick with you even when you yank his chain and kick him out of bed. The remarkably unconditional nature of Ollie's bond to you should put a conditional grin on your face. See? You're smiling, aren't you?
Give the little guy a break tonight. Don't make him beg for a belly rub.
Posted by Dog Lady at October 23, 2003 12:36 PM
