Preparing To Let Go

Dear Dog Lady,

I am 86 with serious health problems. I have a Bichon frise, Madison, whom I dearly love. He is 10. We go everywhere together. I fear, assuming I go before him, that he will feel deserted.

He never has been very good around other people, including my wife who has a busy social life and not much time to spend with Madison. I try to familiarize him with other people but that hasn't been easy. I am writing out a life style legacy with his weaknesses, strengths and I have created a trust for him for such care as may be needed. I do have a portable kennel that may make the change easier. But what else can I do? I really love this little 20-lb. guy like no other dog I have ever known.

Your advice, please.

Warren, Rochester Hills, MI

Warren, you are thinking realistically -- and transcendently -- about difficult end of life issues as they impact your dear Bichon frise.

Do you have one friend or family member whom you immediately think of when you imagine a suitable companion for your dog after you are gone? I would allow Madison to spend as much time as possible with that person. Make sure this guardian angel knows about your dog's likes and dislikes, the legacy you're leaving him, the portable kennel, favorite toys, quirks, and habits. Also, talk to your wife and friends whom you trust and get their assurances your dog will be taken care of properly.

It must be terribly difficult to imagine being parted from your fellow, but Dog Lady reminds you: He’s a dog. Even a 10-year-old Bichon adjusts to circumstances as long as there's food and distracting outdoor rambles. Your little guy will miss you and mourn you. He probably will never form as strong a bond with another human, but he will go on without you.

Warren, you’ve been very responsible to deal with these morbid matters. Now, please, continue to enjoy Madison’s company without dwelling on the long goodbye.

Posted by Dog Lady at November 30, 2006 07:39 PM