Old Enough To Know Better

Dear Dog Lady,

If a dog lives two human years how old will it be in dog years?

Vanely, Topeka, KS

Vanely, my what a lovely name-ly.

Are you the only on the planet who doesn’t know the age-old formula? One dog year equals seven human years. Do the math. If a dog lives two years, the dog is 14, a teenybopper in human years – old enough to dress like Paris Hilton’s dog, get a floppy ear piercing, and stay up late watching “Doggy Fizzle Televizzle” on MTV.

Dear Dog Lady,

I fear that you are mistaken in saying that one human year is equal to seven dog years. Consider, if you will, the fact that we dogs can start having babies after one year. How many human seven-year-olds can do that? The fact is, that dogs age relative to humans much more quickly when they’re young, and then slower as they get older. A two-year-old dog is really closer to 25 in dog years. Small dogs age slower than big dogs. I invite you to check out my age calculators at http://www.blogdogs.com/dogagecalculator.html

Best, Chigger

Dog Lady replies: Gee, thanks, Chigger. Dog Lady used your calculator and wishes it would erase a few human years.

Posted by Dog Lady at August 21, 2004 07:47 AM