For the Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Dog Days of Summer

Dear Dog Lady,

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Betsy, Wellfleet, MA

Betsy, you must be fried from all that beach blanket bingo. Here's the classic "how many dogs does it take to change a light bulb" joke (If anyone has cheeky additions to the list -- how many Bichon Frisees, Dandy Dinmonts, mixed breeds, mutts, does it take to change a lightbulb? -- please email doglady@askdoglady.com):

GOLDEN RETRIEVER
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead
of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

BORDER COLLIE
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER
I'll change it in my own way, on my own time, at my own speed.

DACHSHUND
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

ROTTWEILER
Make me.

LABRADOR
Oh me, me!!! Pleeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh?
Huh? Huh? Can I please?

GERMAN SHEPHERD
I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to
make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to
verify that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

TIBETIAN TERRIER
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER
No prob, Dude. I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

POODLE
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he
finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

COCKER SPANIEL
Why change it? In the dark I can pee on the carpet.

DOBERMAN
While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

BOXER
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

CHIHUAHUA
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

POINTER
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.

GREYHOUND
It isn't moving.

AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .

OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG
Light bulb? I'm sorry, I don't see a light bulb. Did one burn out?

HOUND
ZZZZZzzzz.z.z.z.z.z

THE CAT
Dogs do not change light bulbs. People do. The question is, how long will it be before I can expect light in here?

Posted by Dog Lady at July 15, 2003 09:04 AM