Dear Ask Dog Lady,
How many times do you need to walk a 65-pound dog? My boyfriend walks Stinky five times a day. On weekends, we can’t be together for whole eight hours without him going home to walk the dog every three hours. He baby talks his dog, has a picture in his wallet, an oil painting hanging on the wall of his house. His house and his car have dog’s hair all over and he just doesn’t care.
Even if he denied it, I feel his dog is his priority. She’s 10-years-old now and they’ve been together for six years before we met. He said he’s just taking care of a creature that is totally dependent to him. But I think he’s taking the responsibility way too seriously. When she passes away, will he make me his priority? Isn’t that unfair? I’m so confused already. I think he is obsessed with this dog and I want to break up with him. I’m not a dog lover and I don’t think I can handle getting up every morning with dog’s hair all around me if I move in. What shall I do?
-Yanni, Cleveland, OH
Yanni, don’t take your frustrations out on your boyfriend’s dog. You can’t waste time in a relationship waiting for a guy’s dog to die. Stinky has become a smelly excuse for you to sniff out reasons why the entire liaison is tainted.
Sit down with your boyfriend down and talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel about his attentions toward his dog and his romantic evasion. It sounds to Dog Lady as if he’s avoiding a deeper relationship with you by transferring his affections to Stinky. That’s OK, but it doesn’t help you at all.
Before you have this little chat, make sure you are prepared to hear what he has to say. Open your ears, eyes, and heart to the possibility he may tell you he doesn’t want to pursue the relationship any further. Then, you can tell him with candor and without rancor your own doubts. He may be relieved to hear them.
At the end of the day, any healing discussion should be about you two. Bickering or horse-trading over Stinky should be off the table. For your boyfriend, the bond with his dog is non-negotiable.
One Response to “Stinky Situation”
Leave a Reply
Tags: relationships
Categories: Love Unleashed
Posted on: Monday, September 14th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Follow Responses:RSS 2.0 feed or trackback from your own site.
A couple of things. One this is not a contest of who your boyfriend loves best. Note how caring and kind he is with the dog, if he is as kind to his mother he’s a keeper. He may need to go home because the dog is old and needs to go out more often so as not to soil the house. Why not go with him, don’t like the dog hair, vacumn. No relationship is perfect. If he is a stinker to his mom move on.